Has doing the right thing ever surprised you?
I was volunteering at my kids’ swim meet. It was my first time as a stroke and turn judge.
The trainer bestowed on my group the sacred honor of teaching these kids the right form with our judging. And I wasn’t taking it lightly.
I had been disqualifying swimmers through the night for this or that obvious infraction. Then came the 200m freestyle relays.
Part judging this event is to ensure the swimmer touches the wall before changing direction. And right in front of me, one girl turned around, missing the wall by at least six inches.
I look at my heat sheet to get her information for the DQ slip and there was her name.
It was my 11-year old.
Moment of Truth
Now, I hear from a lot of the other judges is they don’t want to be “mean” with their disqualifications.
But if the kids don’t get the right feedback while they’re learning, poor form holds them back from higher levels.
I wrote it, turned it in, and went on with the rest of the meet.
The other temptation of being a dad is to tell your kids to correct themselves. But that may not be the best way to get them to listen and make changes. So I took a different approach.
After the Meet
On the walk back to the car, I started telling my kids about my experience. I told them what it was like being a judge and how I was supposed to do it.
I casually slid in to the conversation, “Like on the freestyle relay. I have to look for whether the swimmer touched the wall on the turn.”
Now came the surprise. My 11-year old got really quiet as she stopped to think.
I didn’t have to tell her and correct her. She knew she missed the wall.
If I didn’t disqualify her run, she would have gone on without knowing she needed to correct her form. And at practice the next morning, she wouldn’t have asked the coach to work on it with her like she did.
But for me, I wouldn’t have known how aware she was of her own performance. And that really surprised me.
So I made sure to praise her for it. Most 11-year old athletes don’t think like that and I wanted her to keep that awareness as she grows.
Learning Lessons
My daughter wasn’t the only one to walk away with a lesson that night. I had plenty to think about on the ride home.
Kids learn the most from their own interests
That doesn’t change much into adulthood. Even when we delude ourselves and accept mind-numbing mediocrity to get by on our paychecks.
We want to know more about our kids
It pays to build a great relationship with the people we brought into this world. If we focus all our time pushing our reality on them, we lose track of who they are and fail to appreciate them for it.
Right calls don’t end the world
And finally, it wasn’t the end of the world that I disqualified her swim, and, thankfully, not the end of our relationship. In fact, she was awarded “Most Improved” for her age group at the end of the season. The places you can go, right?
Yes, have high standards for how to do things. No, don’t crush your kids with them. And leave enough room for them to grow and explore in it.
Because they can find the right thing on their own. And it might surprise you.
Affiliate Corner
What helped bring about this surprise? A lot of it comes from bedtime stories.
In The Tuttle Twins and the Medals of Merit, Ethan and Emily learn the value of self-improvement and doing the right thing during competitions. That story rubbed off to make this one.
Get it for your family here:
There’s more where that story came from. Subscribe today to be first to know when the next one drops:
Before you go, check out these related posts:
Liberty Begins At Home 
Leave a comment