Independence Day eve.
I was in a pew with the weight of the world on me.
Because there’s a lot of stuff to do. My environment reinforces that.
A crowded landscape
I’m at work 50 hours a week with a group of survivors who had to rely on themselves and endure cuts for so long.
I’m at home with 6 kids who make messes and dishes. Who need help with their homeschooling and rides to activities. With my wife who’s tied down with a newborn. Plus whatever other car, home, or office maintenance needs doing.
And in the middle there’s a 45-minute commute between work and home.
While at the outskirts there are all the things I want to write about (like natural family planning, supporting a family, and getting things done) and get down on myself because I can’t keep a schedule to build an audience.
That starts to wear on me after a while.
An invitation
On top of this, my wife signed us up for the 250 hours of adoration for our nation.
Growing up, I focused on passing the time to make it through the hour. Structured prayers, reading a book of someone else’s thoughts, asking for a litany of things to work through my list.
I could see my three older kids working through this next to me.
Sitting in one place for an hour sounds boring. But there’s a difference between understanding why you’re doing something and actually experiencing what that thing has to offer.
I figured I would try something different: being there and letting Him love you.
The shift
So I tried that. Just being in front of the Blessed Sacrament for an hour.
No structure.
Just presence.
Sometimes that opens you to the Spirit giving you the gifts you need to do stuff anyway.
Sure, thoughts come up of why I didn’t belong there.
The to-do list and other things I could be doing with my time off coming to mind.
But instead of getting angry at myself, I asked why this is coming between us and offering it up.
And after an hour, I left with the tightness gone from my shoulders.
Relaxing. Peaceful. Fulfilling.
The “balance” trap
Some people talk of a balance.
In practice, that stops at trying to give everything equal time.
Sometimes, it’s about giving something the time it needs and saying “no” to other things that are less important in the moment. Then returning your attention to those things after the moment passes.
Why does this work?
There’s power in asking God’s will before setting out to do it.
It’s not just about doing the right thing. Or avoiding the really wrong things that people agree on to claim you’re essentially good.
The right thing on your own will gets exhausting in this world without the Spirit sustaining you.
Because the more you dig into it, the more you find those little blocks keeping you from feeling His presence.
And while it seems like going infinitesimally smaller in this search, each of those remaining crumbs of stumbling blocks may as well be the size of a mountain.
Because God wants all of you, not just parts you’re willing to offer when it’s convenient.
That’s radical. And it’s worth the time pursuing it.
Just like I’m now late for work. But it was worth the time to write this today.
Thanks for taking time to join me on this journey today. And if you subscribe today, you’ll get more reflections and tools delivered straight to your inbox:
Like I said, balance is a trap. Check out these related posts on leaning into each side before you go:
Liberty Begins At Home 
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