“Ma’am? Are you ready to take the correct number?”
The office lady at my kids’ dentist had launched into an explanation of how the account number provided wasn’t turning up a record at the insurance company and the hoops I would need to jump through to correct it before the appointment tomorrow.
Normally, politeness wins the day and I just let the person talk. But this was the third phone call in an hour long effort.
I was staring at a different number on my computer screen. It was time to intervene.
Voice of reason
Of course, we’re both trying to help each other out. She needed to set her record straight and I needed to give her the correct information. Nothing changed from that setup when she launched into her canned speech.
Though hearing kids scream in the background every couple minutes wasn’t helping our conversation.
So to keep the spirit of helping out, I needed to stop her without being rude and guide her to the outcome we both wanted.
And that is where the Late Night FM DJ voice came in.
What is this voice?
I pulled this tool from Never Split the Difference by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss.
He used the technique to diffuse situations where the hostage taker was distressed and looking for extreme measures to escape.
And it’s pretty simple in practice.
- Make your voice deep, soft, slow, and reassuring.
- Always end with a downward inflection like a statement, even when you’re asking a question.
Would it work with the dentist office?
Interrupting with purpose
Now, most people you interrupt get upset when they can’t say what they had planned.
That’s why I had to interrupt with the solution to the problem that her planned speech couldn’t deliver.
No judgement on her or her plans. Just show up with the answer.
And when I asked her if she was ready for the correct number, she stopped and took it down.
She didn’t have to call back after that.
Staying out of danger
This conversation could have gone another way.
Neither of us wanted to be on that phone figuring this out with constant distractions in the background.
The situation could have led to a shouting match and both of us huffing off about how the other didn’t listen or wasn’t doing their job.
But the Late Night FM DJ voice diffused that and kept us working toward the right answer.
Get the book and try it for yourself next time.
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Check out these related posts before you go:
Liberty Begins At Home 
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